I’m starring in my own Punch & Judy show. There is one puppet representing Fashion with a capital F – I’m picturing it modelled on Karl Lagerfeld with too much jewellery and a powdered wig. And then there’s me, obviously. The week-by-week conversation goes something like this:

Fashion “You must wear novelty leggings!”

Me “Oh no I won’t!”

Fashion “Oh yes you will!”

Me “Oh no I won’t!”

Fashion “Oh yes you will!”

Two months later:

Me “Um, actually, maybe I will give them a try after all.”

It’s not a flattering analogy, but as this week’s subject is novelty leggings, unflattering is kind of appropriate. And the Punch & Judy conversation illustrates the extraordinary power of fashion to persuade and seduce us, even against our better judgment. You see something ridiculous, but then you see lots of fabulous people wearing it, and it starts to look fabulous as well as ridiculous.

So. The leggings. Even for me, this is a new low. Last time garish leggings were fashionable, I was much younger and had much better legs, but at that point I was too sensible to risk them. How did I get so much older, yet so much unwiser?

And yet, you know what? I quite like these leggings. Admittedly, after putting them on, I kept my eyes tightly shut until I had buttoned up a long cardigan and stepped into high heels. The human instinct for self-preservation runs deep.

But they are fun and different – and in fashion, that counts for a lot. There is something quite liberating about the idea of wearing odd, shiny leggings to a party this year, instead of a wardrobe-staple, make-you-look-thinner LBD. Will I stick to my guns on this, you ask? Oh yes, I will.

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[Published today in The London Guardian.]